November 4, 2015 1 Comment sisbee-s-thoughts

But you don’t understand !!! 4 things to remember when you feel alone in your troubles.

Many times it seems like no one exactly understands whatever it is you may be experiencing. Yes, people may show compassion , even pity. Friends and loved ones may go out of their way  to show you how much they care and want to help or make things better for you  but many times although their efforts are  appreciated, the fact that they are not in your shoes and hence are not feeling or can not feel what you are feeling does not give you the comfort you so longingly desire.

Pity can be annoying. I personally dislike it with a passion. Mainly because it makes one vulnerable, weak and to appear disadvantaged,  but most especially because it doesn’t help the situation.

Knowing that someone else understands what you are going through because they have gone through it themselves is comforting, can be educating and empowering. To add to that , if the end of the story is positive, reassuring or encouraging , one finds hope and strength.

If you find that you are  screaming out  to people ‘But you don’t understand!’ then here are some suggestions  that have helped me.

1. Remember and remind yourself , you are not alone in your situation.

It is impossible that amongst the 7.2 billion people in the world  you are the only person going through or to have gone through whatever it is you are experiencing.

1 Peter 5:9 Amplified Bible (AMP) says

‘ But resist him, be firm in your faith [against his attack—rooted, established, immovable], knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being experienced by your brothers and sisters throughout the world. [You do not suffer alone.]’

You may feel alone in the physical right now but as a Christian you are not. Jesus  Himself said He is with us always – look at  Matthew 28 vs 20 KJV ‘……..and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.’

2.  Don’t make yourself alone.

Seek to learn from  peoples experiences. How did they overcome ? What did they do. ? How are they coping or how did they cope? Read , listen , discuss or associate.

It is important to align yourself with godly and positive people with the word of God remaining your standard. In  vulnerable times it is so easy to look for help anywhere, but keep focused on who you are in Christ. Sometimes groups can be of help. I remember putting some issues and questions I once had in to a search engine and sticking the word ‘Christian’ in front of my question. I came across a ministry that has blessed me immensely and helped me so much with their newsletters and emails . I have come across sermons and messages that have spoken to me as if they were made for me!  I joined relevant groups on social media of like minded individuals.  I don’t spend all my time on these, but  catchy or relevant headings sometimes get my attention and the content of the write up blesses me.  Sharing the journey with someone who has the same beliefs as you is so much easier. Don’t be afraid to speak out to people who you trust and can give you wise counsel, you will be surprised that you do find someone who understands because they have been there or have the grace to minister to you.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Amplified Bible (AMP) says

‘ Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort,  who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God’.

3. Encourage yourself in The Lord.

Have hope. Surround yourself by people and things that make you happy. Do things that make you smile. Keep busy. Don’t stop living.  You may feel down for a while but make an effort to get yourself up. It takes effort and grace! But remember His grace is sufficient for us.  King David in the bible was a man of great faith and strength but interestingly there is a record of him once feeling distressed and upset . you can read 1 Samuel 30 1- 6 for  yourself . But see 2 important parts of the scripture .

1 Samuel 30  King James Version (KJV)

vs 4- Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep

vs 6- And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

4. Remember ; God understands.

What’s more important than that?  Sometimes when things are hard it sounds so cliché . You may be struggling to hear anything about God or the word of God. People may preach and you feel like ‘ yeah, yeah’…… Their words may be irritating, repetitive or seemingly unhelpful because they don’t understand…….But that doesn’t change the fact that God cares and the word of God is real. Don’t discard words of encouragement. One day when things lift you will remember that all they were saying was right. People are praying for you whether you know it or not. Don’t give up as  no season lasts forever.

Be Encouraged.

Sisbee xxx